Sup fashionistas! Another month, another list of things we’ve arbitrarily decided to be amazing or oh-so-gauche, and another four weeks of being judged for not conforming to them! Let’s hit the walk.
Hot – Freshers
Oh. My. God. No matter if you’re boy, girl, gay, straight, bi, or up for a little lezzing on a Monday (Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday) night for the benefit of your lecturer there’s nothing hotter than a fresher this month. Remember the whole (de)frock a fresher thing? Now’s the time to show off the one you managed to hang on to, and totally take advantage of the ones who missed out on hot older action. There’s nothing better than a clueless 18-year-old that goes like a Duracell bunny just in case Skins upstages them.
Not – Freshers
Urgh, who do these people think they are? You’re way over “freshers” week, right? Who the hell is a fresher? You’ve been here, like, a month maybe? You’re not a fresher – you’re a first year. Totally different. It’s time to get out there and grab some of that freedom your parents are so ashamed of. It’s okay, girls, we’re third wave feminists these days, and that means as much sex as you want! It’s empowering! And as for the boys, time to make sure there’s no yawns at the Lawns! No, freshers are those losers who go to lessons or whatever the hell they’re called. Sooo not hot. Who the hell goes to university to learn anyway? No, it’s about filling a room with sultry D&G dandies and never being able to look your children in the eye in 20 years’ time. For us first years it’s time to party, and get down to some serious genital abuse! WOOO!
Prada Von Vogue
Have your say on what’s hot and not! Email whatshotwhatsnot@hullfire.com.
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